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I've just been told that everything that was the base of my shattered life,
The first of many sequence of events that almost led to my downfall,
Was just a farce
I was led astray to believe that he never loved me
That they never wanted to even see me
I was the mistake made off of a one night stand
She was just another one of the show girls
All this time through my childhood of waiting by my bedroom window,
For what mother called my sperm donor,
To seeking my security blanket
I was led to believe he never cared
That he just had better things to do
This killed me inside
My childhood was like a fruit rotting from the inside out,
Troubles as my life went on spurred the decay of my own happiness
So much was robbed from me
Maybe i could have survived, though
If everything was separated and allowed me to build a defence
Instead they build onto each other
This along with the underlining of agony at the loss of any childs basic need
Then i'm all grown up
He finally loves me, and i love him
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0
life's deceit
Our eyes tell the story,
our mouths can't
they scream for help
or glitter in happiness
sometimes they leak tears,
for sadness we can't express in words
but when their dull
you know the person inside is gone
No matter how much we try to hide
lock ourselves away in fear
forget love,
lose emotions,
and be alone
its impossible
cause were human,
whether we like it or not
it's not living, just moving through the actions
we all want a fairy tail ending
but everyone has to face the pain and danger before it
unfortunately few can look ahead
think of the bigger picture
so some go through the motions
believing that no one will ever love us
we are often our worst critiques
so in an effort to reach our version of beauty
we tear ourselves apart
and believe were alone
that no one understands
that no one has been broken,betrayed,or deceived
maybe its deeper than that
maybe people have died
or your family isn't around
you could be adopted
or just really insecure
could have had people do really bad thin
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 2 7
We are all whispers in the dark
left without a heart
shadows of who we used to be
ghosts among humanity
no one can quite understand
the extent of our banishment
or the aching pain of loneliness
when a being exceeds to exist
reaches for help
tries for acknowledgement,
but is denied
and with each passing day,
we all begin to fade
because what was never meant to be
will slowly dissapear
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 3 0
omg by Phantom-of-Despair omg :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0 this little piggy by Phantom-of-Despair this little piggy :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 2 2 cat nip by Phantom-of-Despair cat nip :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 2 2
lost hope
Faded echo's of who we used to be
We were alive and young
Holding in those mistakes
Carefree because nothing was wrong
Secretes withheld
Caution thrown to the wind
Its okay
Promises that will never be
Stay quiet and never be seen
Although happiness is absent
Sorrow is prominent
Those childhood wishes long forgotten
These terrible aches won't go away
I miss you
A scar not quite forgotten
Tears not that dried up
But one cannot speak
It's the fear that's constricting
Knowing your words could make a difference
But is it for the best
Two halves of a whole
Both part of one soul
But seperation is inevitable
Nothing is forever
Not even friendship
And its oh so hard
Just as deep as any pain
To sacrafice for others
To do what's right
To let free what,may not come back
One that love or family can't hold
Remember me
A piece grafted into the wrong heart
The one that was supposed to be there forever
But can you let me
Can we cross the vast ocean of hopelessness together
And feel hand in hand once ag
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 2 0
Untitled by Phantom-of-Despair Untitled :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 2 0 winkies by Phantom-of-Despair winkies :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 29 arg by Phantom-of-Despair arg :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0 ginny bear by Phantom-of-Despair ginny bear :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0
forgotten souls
Angry and red but still I bled
Smile and don't believe the monster inside is asleep
Has anyone told you I'm dead
Seen me as my breath stopped steadfast
"Forgive me?" I once said
Would anyone know I was missing
If i snuck solemnly into the night
Not one to be in a fright
Alone in the desolate playground of my guessing
"Will you remember me?"
Barely concious I do the drugs
I'm unimportant
The world forgot me years ago
This was never a happy story
Thinking  you care
I  Wouldn't even dare
Callous enough to cry
But as one would say ill never say goobye
" Guess its Happily never after, after all."
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 7
Untitled by Phantom-of-Despair Untitled :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0 sleepy angry pussy-cat by Phantom-of-Despair sleepy angry pussy-cat :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 3 0 Giness the wonder cat by Phantom-of-Despair Giness the wonder cat :iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0
End of the forgotten
​Diren Lyve is one of the mere 500 citizens of the miniscule village of Lyve, the last remaining village of living wolves. It’s creation signalled the end of the modern age, as shortly after completion, the horrid fingers of the apocalypse set in, ready to clutch the world tightly until it was strangled to death. New creatures called Underdwellers have come to be; large, mindless demonic beasts whose eternal task is to drag victims into the depths of Hell, which has been dubbed the Underdwelling. The only barrier between the wolves and the merciless Underdwellers is a steel wall that surrounds the village.​Diren and his sister, Carmella, live in a tiny cottage on the edges of town.  With scraps and crumbs the only highlight of the day, the two often search for adventure, though it is forbidden. One day, Diren and his sister venture out to the wall, discovering a hole in its thick, steel surface. Inside is no other than an Underdweller, dark and savage, snarling a
:iconphantom-of-despair:Phantom-of-Despair 1 0


Bat Wolf Tattoo by Lucky978 Bat Wolf Tattoo :iconlucky978:Lucky978 880 55 Panda Wolf Creature by Lucky978 Panda Wolf Creature :iconlucky978:Lucky978 938 49 HNY 2014 by Red-Romanov HNY 2014 :iconred-romanov:Red-Romanov 228 14 Snow White by Amanda-Diaz Snow White :iconamanda-diaz:Amanda-Diaz 1,679 48 I said, Stop by Capukat I said, Stop :iconcapukat:Capukat 1,898 230 Happy Holidays! I'm your Secret Santa :D by Capukat Happy Holidays! I'm your Secret Santa :D :iconcapukat:Capukat 898 95 Don't give me that face by Capukat Don't give me that face :iconcapukat:Capukat 685 75 green swirl by GreenAmb green swirl :icongreenamb:GreenAmb 176 24 Bad Magic by Magickie Bad Magic :iconmagickie:Magickie 651 72 ZZ by Magickie ZZ :iconmagickie:Magickie 120 12 Legace by Magickie Legace :iconmagickie:Magickie 145 25 Sin by Magickie Sin :iconmagickie:Magickie 217 25 .+.+.+. by Kawiku .+.+.+. :iconkawiku:Kawiku 4,481 217 Temptation by MattBarley Temptation :iconmattbarley:MattBarley 559 24 Grr by MattBarley Grr :iconmattbarley:MattBarley 290 17 Basic Action Shot Commission by Capukat Basic Action Shot Commission :iconcapukat:Capukat 319 62



Journal Entry: Tue May 7, 2013, 3:26 PM
My dad expects me to move down to Plymouth with him. Down there is better career choices and schooling. But me nd my mum just moved meaning ill have to move to Plymouth alone with my dad who is EXTREEMLY strict till they can afford/find a house. If I do that I have to leave my best friends I ever had for the last 6 years.before I chose Plymouth because my whole life best friend left to Hawaii nd if Idid she might come back but now  she's not. So I'm alone no friends down there. Up here I'm familiar with everyone and thing. On top of that my mom has had a horribly rough life and been alone for 15+ years she just recently found a guy who finally treats her right and their serious. He's even proposed. If I move mom will eventually come for me. Meaning she has to leave her happiness cause he can't come behind for me. My sister is also giving up everything  for me to move even though she doesn't want me to. Help :'( I've decided Plymouth but I am so unhappy but I cnt go back on my word after I've gone in so far for friends or guys who might be gone in a year or so. Especially when this could affect my whole life and future


Phantom-of-Despair's Profile Picture
United States
My names parole, I can only draw on paper but have no scanner so i am learning digital. I love writing and am very good at it. I plan on kick-starting up a few stories and such on here whensoever I get settled in. I'm female of 16 years of age. I get my inspiration from my partner :iconphantom-of-malice: and :iconfalvie: also from being alone and listening to music. I'm a very angst person XD as my friends say, and am a hard book to read. I love roleplaying too! Ill be on here frequently :) i also love friends and talking so message me!




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PrincessAsparagus92 Featured By Owner May 21, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday :heart: :iconeeeeedpplz: :iconcake3dplz: :iconpresentplz: :heart:
COCLIKO Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fave ! :)
Lovely-Lonley-Night Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
Thanks for the fav :)
DPghostboy14 Featured By Owner May 22, 2013
:iconcaekplz: Here have a slice of cake you deserve it. Happy belated birthday!!!!
Phantom-of-Despair Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
PrincessAsparagus92 Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday :heart: :iconcaekplz: :heart:
Phantom-of-Despair Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
PrincessAsparagus92 Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problem :)
TVD-Photography Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Professional Photographer
Thank you for the fave on Baby Tiger: Climb II :hug: ^-^
Maxernest Featured By Owner May 7, 2013   General Artist
thanks for the fave :iconsnugplz:
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